In African societies, a prevailing notion persists: “men don’t cry.” They are expected to endure pain silently and embody traditional notions of masculinity, regardless of the emotional toll it takes. Recent cases of paternity fraud highlight the devastating consequences of this cultural expectation, as men grapple with the revelation that the children they’ve raised may not be biologically theirs
One such case was found in South Africa, where Mr. Kheta awoke to the brutal realization that the child he had nurtured for seven years was not his biological offspring
Charles Awuzie , a South Africa-based commentator, shed light on this issue through his platform titled “How do broken men heal?” He emphasized that men often suppress their pain, leading to unresolved emotional trauma. While society tends to focus on supporting women through heartbreak and emotional distress, the struggles of men are frequently overlooked.
“Several fathers in Nigeria may not be the biological source of the children they are raising. Those who found out are broken. Alas, there’s no space for broken men in our society to heal.”
Awuzie pointed out that many fathers in Nigeria may unknowingly raise children who are not biologically theirs, leading to profound feelings of betrayal and loss. He highlighted the lack of support systems for men in distress, noting that their emotional turmoil often manifests in destructive behavior towards others.
“Nobody cares to trace the history behind the abusive man—he’s doomed,” Awuzie lamented, underscoring the urgent need for empathy and understanding towards men facing internal turmoil.
Drawing attention to the importance of DNA testing, Awuzie urged couples to undergo testing to confirm the paternity of their children, especially if there are doubts. Despite societal taboos surrounding DNA testing, Awuzie advocated for its normalization, stressing that it can prevent future emotional turmoil and foster honesty within relationships.
He urged women to take the initiative in requesting DNA testing if there are doubts about paternity, emphasizing that openness and honesty are essential for healthy relationships.
“For me, I think every woman should be a champion of DNA paternity testing… We need to normalize this thing. If you have multiple sexual partners in your life, that’s your choice. After all, most of us men also have multiple partners. But the tricky part is that men don’t get pregnant but ladies do hence the moral burden is on the female to request DNA testing when unsure.
Awuzie called for an end to the stigma associated with DNA testing, emphasizing that the truth, however painful, is necessary for healing and reconciliation.
In African societies, the cultural expectation that "men don’t cry" compels them to endure pain in silence, often leading to emotional suppression. This issue has become prominent with the rise of paternity fraud cases, where men discover that the children they raised are not biologically theirs. A case in South Africa highlighted this, where Mr. Kheta learned that the child he'd nurtured for seven years was not his biological child. South African commentator Charles Awuzie drew attention to the emotional trauma men face in such situations, emphasizing that society frequently overlooks the struggles of men compared to women.
Awuzie noted that many Nigerian fathers might be unknowingly raising children who are not biologically theirs, suffering betrayal and loss without adequate support systems, leading to potential harmful behaviors. He stressed the importance of empathy and understanding towards men experiencing such internal crises. Additionally, he advocated for normalizing DNA paternity testing to confirm biological relationships and prevent future emotional distress in relationships. Awuzie urged women, particularly those with multiple sexual partners, to take the lead in requesting DNA tests to ensure honesty and transparency in relationships, addressing the stigma surrounding DNA testing for the sake of healing and reconciliation.
